Masterclass - The Art of Negotiation

Overview

Chris Voss has an excellent Masterclass on the “Art of Negotiation”. As a seasoned FBI negotiator, he gives everyday people expert advice on how to develop new skills that they can leverage in everyday negotiations.

The content is easy to digest and Chriss Voss is a great teacher. He has an on-camera charisma that’s very engaging and personable. The lessons within this masterclass are very applicable and can be practiced at any time. These simple skills can easily be applied to turn the tides in your favor in any negotiation.

I would highly recommend this masterclass to just about anyone. It will increase your communication skills, help you get more information from the other party, help the other party see things from your perspective, and ultimately, be in control of the negotiation while making the other party believe that they’re getting what they want.

Notes

This section will capture my notes from the Masterclass. Feel free to reference them, copy them, and/or add on to them.

1. Empathy

• The adversary is the situation, the person across the table is your counterpart.

• Human nature rules apply to everyone.

• Understanding the rules that the other team is playing by, and respecting them.

• You don’t need to agree with those rules but you have to grasp them.

• Understand them and play by those rules.

• Play their game.

• See if you can turn their rules against them.

• Understand the other side’s perspective and build trust. This is the bedrock of any negotiation.

2. Mirroring

• Let people talk, it makes them feel involved, it gives you new information.

• Negotiation is letting the other side have your way.

• Mirroring builds rapport, interesting people are interested.

• Pick the last 1-3 words and say them back to the person, phrased as a question

• People want to be heard, keep asking them questions about what they are saying and they will start to think they are part of the negotiation.

• By the end of the questions you ask them, they will be more open to what you initially said.

• Be interested and have a truly genuine interest. Make sure it’s relayed in your tone.

• Once you mirror someone it won’t feel like a fight, you gather context and it makes them feel like they’re being heard.

• Be silent after you mirror, let the person know that you want to hear them.

• Awkwardness is an indicator that you’re learning

• This is an art that takes lots of practice, don’t be discouraged. Do keep trying. Let people do all the talking, and ask for further explanation. They will love you for it.

3. Labeling

• Amygdala is the emotional center of the brain.

• When showing people pictures that incurred negative emotions, they were able to see the effect on the amygdala.

• When asking those people to label how they felt after seeing those negative pictures, they saw that the level of negativity on the amygdala decreased.

• If you identify a negative emotion someone might be having, such as feeling angry, and you label it as such, it helps the person reduce that negative emotion.

• A very useful tool with various applications, don’t be fooled by the simplicity.

  • Might be the most useful tool.

• Steps of Labeling:

  1. Being aware of what the other person is feeling.

     1. This is usually easy and your gut will walk you through it.

  2. Simply label:

     • It seems like …

     • It sounds like …

     • I don’t want you to get upset about this…

     • By labeling something you can establish a rapport with the other person. You can gain insight into what they are thinking, and it helps you increase your influence.

       • Trust-based influence:

         • Lowest maintenance and durable type of influence there is.

• The incorrect way to label something

  • What I am hearing is …

    • Dropped the word “I”, meaning that I care more about my perspective.

• Try not to talk after a good label, let it sit on the other side. Take the effect that you want it to. Let it sync it.

• Going to take more than one label to defuse the negative.

• Labels will help defuse the negative, but the degree varies.

  • Some labels will hit harder and help you gain more influence than others.

• If you label an emotion and the response you receive is silence, it doesn’t mean that your label isn’t good, it means that you just need more.

  • Label it some more, add some comments.

    • “Sounds like I haven’t gone far enough”

    • “Sounds like there’s more than meets the eye”

    • “Sounds like there are some feelings about this that I haven’t quite touched yet.

• Labeling a negative deactivates a negative, but labeling a positive reinforces it.

  • Telling others you appreciate how generous they are being with their time (Customer service).

  • If someone thinks that they’re being generous with their time, feed that, reinforce that emotion. It will help your influence.

• Mirrors are a great way to dye yourself in with labels.

• A combination of mirrors leading to a label can be very successful.

  • Using several mirrors will help you tease out an emotion that the other side might be having, for you to label.

• You can mirror the response to a label, and get a lot more information afterward.

4. Exercise: Mirroring and Labeling

• Labels don’t have to be emotions (sad, angry, happy), they can also be things that someone enjoys.

  • Sounds like you like {puzzles, drama, people}

• You might have some awkward labels, but sometimes people might be okay with talking about that.

• The other person can explore a label and how they feel about it.

• The other person feels heard.

• You let the other side say all that they want without knowing a single thing about you.

• Not a single question was asked, mirroring and labeling allow the other person to keep talking without constantly asking them questions.

5. Mastering Delivery

• Your inner voice betrays your outer voice

• Your tone gives away a lot, your voice, your delivery, speak volumes.

  • It conveys deference (humble submission and respect.)

  • It can convey genuineness.

• Some hostage negotiators might not say the right thing, but they say it in the right voice. Which is better than someone saying the right things in the wrong voice.

Manipulate Mirror Neurons

• If you can see someone and speak to them, you are in a position to hit their mirror neurons.

• If I am angry you’ll get angry too.

  • Involuntary response

• Use the Late-night FM DJ voice (nice slow calm voice). This can help slow down the other person’s train of thought.

  • Calms people down.

  • Can’t tell people to calm down, that’s an order and people hate that.

  • Instead hit them with that calm voice and add a smile.

• Smile when you talk to people, positively hit their mirror neurons.

  • Don’t be held hostage by whether they like you.

  • Calm them down, hit their mirror neurons with a smile.

  • Give them a reason to like you and see that collaborating with you is worth their time.

Tones of Voice

Tones of voices that you can use.

Ditch the “Assertive” Voice

• The fighting type, assertive, blunt.

• Direct and Honest

• It makes people feel like they’re being punched in the nose.

• Anger always leaves a negative residue and is bad for long-term relationships.

• Counterproductive

Use the “Playful” Voice

• The accommodator’s voice, the playful voice.

• Say it in a way that keeps the relationship, but presents it in an honest way

• Make people feel like they’re not backed into a corner.

• Letting people know that you have to tell the truth, but making sure it lands softly.

• The “straight shooter”, everyone loves somebody who will tell the truth, as long as they are worried about how it lands.

• Use this voice about 80%, keep people in a positive state of mind, keep them working with you.

Use the “Analyst” Voice

• Downward, a slow, soothing tone that is declarative.

• Use this when you have to throw something out which is immovable.

• Make sure to be slow, and whatever your saying better be immovable.

• Use this voice rarely, the other side will feel cold. The other side will not like this voice.

Use the “Late-Night FM DJ” Voice

• The difference between this and the Analyst is that the Analyst’s voice lacks warmth.

• Use this voice no more than 10-15% of the time.

• The situation, when the other side is upset, it is a quick way to calm them down.

• If the other side is anxious all the time, this voice will calm them down quickly.

Inflections

• This is where you start adding the mastery.

• Use an inquisitive tone of voice, which is genuine and curious at the end.

• The same way we would talk to our friend’s parents when we wanted them to come out to play.

Digital Communication

• Don’t over-rely on any one form of Communication.

• Don’t make them too long, always end positively.

• Would you play Cheese in an email?

  • Use different forms of communication for each move.

  • Emails naturally sound negative so try to soften them.

6. Case Study: Chase Manhattan Bank Robbery

• Created his identity.

• Mirroring in a surprising way, the robber gave him a bunch of information.

• Labeling and mirroring well here. Let them say what they want.

• Understand the pronouns that the other party is using, “we, us, they, them” vs “I, me.”

  • When people use “they” pronouns they are usually powerful and influential.

  • If they use singular pronouns, that usually means that that’s the only time they get to use them, it portrays that they don’t have much power.

7. Body Language and Speech Patterns

• Understand how someone acts when they tell the truth vs when they lie.

• The 7/38/55 Rule

  • 7 + 38 +55 = 100

  • Content + tonality + body language

  • Tone is 5x more important than content.

  • Do their delivery and body language match up with their content? What about their tone?

    • Label what you observe.

• Watch the sidelines

  • The people not being spoken to will be extremely honest with their body language.

• Identify baselines and spot deviations

  • People tell the truth in one way, they can lie in multiple ways.

  • Polygraphs capture the truth, lies are deviations from the truth.

  • When you hear someone come out of their truth-telling nature, they’re more than likely lying.

• The Pinocchio Effect

  • When someone uses more words than necessary for the answer.

  • They know they’re lying so they go through more efforts to make you believe.

  • “Why would I lie”

• How to Respond to lies

  • “I heard you say you’re okay with the deal, but it seems like something’s bothering you?” Use a good label.

  • “Seems like there’s something here that I missed”

  • Not accusatory, it’s a collaborative, curious, and interested tone of voice.

  • Tactical empathy gives you the best chance of success.

  • If someone lies to you they’re scared to tell you the truth, they view us as a threat.

    • Refer to late-night FM DJ voice.

    • Be predictable and non-judgment.

    • Show your empathy.

8. Creating the Illusion of Control

• Give the other side the illusion of control.

• Ask “How” and “What” Questions

  • Calibrate questions with “what” and “how”, instead of “why.” It causes defensiveness.

  • But we need to ask “why.” Replace the why’s with the whats.

• Ask Questions to Force Empathy

  • Force the other side to have empathy towards you.

  • Reciprocity may not always work.

  • “How am I supposed to do that?” Forces the other side to consider how things are going, and consider what they are asking of you.

• Use calibrated questions to shape thinking

  • Combine how and what, to ask 3 questions worded differently

    • How am I supposed to do that?

    • What’s going to happen if I do that?

    • How will I overcome the challenges that I have here?

  • This will force them to think about the experience from your perspective, and they might appreciate that.

• Avoid Triggering Reciprocity

  • If we ask we tend to owe. If we ask we should be able to answer ourselves.

  • Put the burden of how to solve the problem on the creator of the problem.

• Ask Legitimate Questions

  • How are we going to move forward if we make this deal?

  • How have you worked with people like me in the past?

  • How have you made this deal in the past?

  • Ask the deal breakers the hard questions so they are no longer deal breakers, they are deal collaborators.

9. Mock Negotiation: Teenager

• He asks really good calibrated questions.

• Starts off with mirroring, mixes in calibrated questions, and labels in with the mirroring.

• That was a great session.

• The calibrated questions force the party to have an empathetic look into what’s happening.

• Force the other party to think it through with your questions, labels, and mirrors without asking them, “Hey, think about this for a second.”

10. The Accusations Audit

• Taking an audit of all the negatives that the other side might be thinking about me.

• All the things you don’t want the other side to feel.

• The elephant in the room is diminished by acknowledging it, not ignoring it.

• Make a list of the negative emotions and attack them hard and early.

• Framing and Accusations Audit

  • “It seems like we’re {holding back on you, giving it to you straight, etc}.”

  • In the beginning, you can be vaguer and speculative, “You may be thinking why am I even taking this call.” This goes back to being a straight shooter

• Getting Ahead of Negatives

  • “I’m getting ready to make your day ridiculously difficult.”

    • Makes people think horrible thoughts.

    • Works almost every time.

• Be Exhaustive and Fearless

  • If you don’t feel like you’re laying it on thick, you’re not laying it on thick enough.

  • Rare that you’ll overdo it.

  • Read the other side’s reaction to it.

  • When the other side says “you’re being too hard on yourself”, you’ve gotten them to be empathetic and get on your side.

• Low-Stakes Practice

  • Willing to test drive. Use it on conversations that don’t matter.

11. The Value of “No”

• There is a lot of value when you can get people to say no.

• The Danger of “Yes”

  • 3 types of yes

    • Confirmation - Simple yes or okay to imply I confirm.

    • Agreement - I agree to something.

    • Commitment - Saying yes to doing something

  • Counterfeit yes is when I don’t trust you, or I don’t feel comfortable.

  • Counterfeit yes is usually a “yeaaah.”

  • Change a yes question to a no question

• The Power of “No”

  • It’s more valuable than a yes.

  • People feel safe and protected when they can say no.

  • Difference between when you hear it and say it.

  • People don’t feel fear to say no. There’s no commitment to a no.

• Use “No” to get an answer

  • Phrase questions where the other party has no hesitation with saying no

  • “Is it a ridiculous idea to reserve 3 tickets for you and your team right now?”

• Transition from “No” to “How”

  • Nothing matters until you get a “how.”

  • The first question is “how would you like to proceed?”

  • Ask a few how and what questions for future issues that might arise.

12. Mock Negotiation: Rival

• Using accusatory audit at the start since the other party thinks so lowly of him.

• Very intensive listener.

• Labels her ideas and then plans to use them against her.

• Uses silence well.

• Asks for the other party’s permission.

• Makes the other party feel involved.

13. Bending Reality

• Fear of loss or losing something is that bends reality.

• Understand what people will lose if they make or don’t make the deal.

• “… you can make 23% …..” or “……its gonna cost you 23% by not…..”

• Fear of loss is what keeps people up at night.

• Appeal to their sense of fairness

  • F word - Fair

  • Comes up in every single negotiation.

  • People will destroy deals if they feel they have been treated unfairly.

  • People will more likely make a deal if they feel the process was fair, even if the deal isn’t optimal.

• Responding to the F-Bomb

  • “I’ve given you a fair offer”… “I just want a fair offer.”

    • This is an accusatory stance. And you will react cause you want to be fair.

  • “I’m happy to see what it is that I’m doing that is unfair.”

  • Say things like, “It’s my intention to treat you fairly… If at any point if you don’t feel that, please tell me.”

• Deadlines are meaningless

  • As it relates to negotiation - Deadlines are designed to get progress started.

  • Rarely is a deadline hard.

  • Put into place to put progress into gear.

  • When a deadline comes up, think of how to show progress.

• Responding to deadlines

  • The first way is a label, “It seems like you’re under a lot of pressure”.. “…trying to get things done on time”, “…the worlds going to come to an end if this doesn’t happen in time.”

  • Use what and how questions

    • What happens if this doesn’t happen on time?

    • How do we get back on track?

    • Forces them to look at the success

• The last impression

  • When you feel attacked, the things you really want to say are probably wrong.

    • The worlds that make people feel down. The part that is negative.

  • The last impression is the lasting impression. It seeds the next interaction.

  • Make the last words positive.

    • “We’re here because…. insert something positive”

    • Put your opener at the end, “We’re here because we want to build a prosperous long-term relationship.”

    • Make it inarguably positive.

14. Bargaining

• The Ackerman System

  • The system itself (When you want them to get something low)

    • Set Target

    • 65% of what you want

    • +20%

    • +10%

    • +5%

    • Odd Number - Make it seem like you’re giving them an odd number.

    • Object - Some objects they might not want.

  • Tell them the price is going to be low, (it’s going to be low, I’m sorry, you’re not going to like it)

  • Ask for permission about telling them the price. Make them ask for the price.

  • Use tactical empathy, tell them you’re being ridiculous.

  • Make them come off their number before you nudge.

  • Tell them you appreciate it. Be generous.

  • Show progress

  • Always increase by decreasing increments

  • Always make a show that you’re tapping the resources, get an odd number from them.

  • “Would you like my jacket, my shirt off my back?”

• Pivot to non-monetary terms

  • Don’t go first and high. Gather data first.

  • “Let’s set the numbers aside, what’s going to make this a good deal”

  • Engage in brainstorming with the other side

  • Price will break the deal but the deal is made on the terms.

• Provide a range

  • Range of what’s going on in the market.

  • The other side will try to pick the number that favors them.

  • What you can pay may not be whats going on in the market

• Anchor emotions, not dollars

  • An anchor is a price you throw out that’s very far from the initial price point.

  • Don’t anchor too hard, the term makes the deal.

  • My number is high, higher than you expect, blah blah.

  • The point is to create some emotional circumstances for the anchor.

15. Mock Negotiation: Salary

• “How can I be more valuable to you”

  • Make the other person’s life easier.

• Negotiate terms with a price

• “You are not going to want to hear this?”

• “This is going to sound selfish”

• Trying to make the other person’s life easier.

• Talking about our future

• “You have reasons for saying it’s fair”

• Utilize the market value.

• Make people think of the losses using “No- oriented questions”

16. Black Swans

• A black swan is something that nobody expected but changes the entire game.

• Black swans in business

  • When looking for a job, you don’t know the behind-the-scenes.

  • The things they know and you don’t are their black swans.

  • Start the communication and get the information from them.

• Open yourself to the unknown

  • Have an open mind and be curious. Provoke a surprise

• Case study: the tractor man

  • Find out what’s driving them, not what they want.

  • Find something that resonates with the other part. You need to tease it out with the other party. Once you have it you can use it against them and their other rules to get what you want.

17. Mock Negotiation: “60 Seconds or She Dies”

• 4 Things you cant give: weapons, transport, drugs/alc, exchange of hostages.

• Chris Voss is a hilarious bank robber.

• Labeling is a great tool, probably his best one. A mix of labeling and calibrated questions.

• Asks more questions instead of answering.

• Good

  • Always give a name, don’t ask for their name. You don’t want to bargain.

  • “What do you need the money for?”

18. The Power of Negotiation

• Voss just wants to help me have a better and more comfortable life.

• “I hate bullies, and this gives people against that.”

• Just wanted to help get the bad guys.